


I Lost You

by Azeran



Series: Marvel Slash [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Drama, Established Relationship, M/M, Sort of anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-11
Updated: 2014-06-11
Packaged: 2018-02-04 06:44:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1769467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azeran/pseuds/Azeran
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I lost you,” Tony mumbled, hardly believing it. This wasn’t supposed to happen. But it had. Loki was dead. Dead, because of that bastard, Kurse, and his crazy master Malekith. If Thor hadn’t brought them here, gotten them involved…..</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Lost You

**Author's Note:**

> Not my best work, but I felt the need to write something completely angst ridden. With this outta my system, I can focus on better things ;) Here's hoping some of you enjoy it! And do remember, Marvel isn't mine.

Tony knew, the moment Loki started for Kurse with the weapon in his hands. He knew what he was going to do, but his panicked shouts didn’t stop the fallen prince. Loki ran faster, thrust home, and the blade viciously punctured through skin and muscle, stopping Kurse in his abuse of Thor’s body from where it had fallen to the dusty ground. Time stopped for the inventor then. He didn’t even notice the dark elf he blew aside, gaze solely on the figure of his lover, releasing the weapon to step backwards. For a fleeting second, Tony thought maybe Loki had succeeded. Things were going to be alright. Then Kurse turned, and he paled, catching poison colored eyes across the dour landscape. There was shock in them. Panic. 

“No!” There wasn’t time for him to react, despite the blast of blue-white energy from that surged from his palms and the soles of his feet, propelling him forward in a rush of stale air. Before Tony’s eyes he watched the morbid scene unfold; Kurse’s growl, the way he grabbed Loki by the forearms and yanked him close in a horrific parody of an embrace, and the blade……it vanished between them, then reappeared anew, but the point shattered through the skin between Loki’s shoulder blades in a splatter of black and crimson blood. This time, Tony heard his own scream mingled with Thor’s, and the trickster’s strangled gasp of pain as he was thrown to the ground, trembling and curling into himself while Kurse loomed over him. No no no no NO! 

He shot an energy beam at overgrown and ugly and stumbled into a rough landing beside Loki, gathering his wounded body into his arms. Whatever he had to do, that bastard wasn’t touching Loki again. Tony would fucking protect him till his very last breath. But he didn’t have to. Like always, Loki was two steps ahead of him. There was a nasty sounding explosion and flash of crimson light, devouring the changed elf’s body into the same oblivion he’d earlier thrown at the trickster in an attempt to take him out. Normally, Tony would’ve basked in relief. Not now, when his boyfriend was literally bleeding out all over him, the pupils of his emerald eyes dilated with pain. It was a look he recognized well, had worn himself many a time. Tony hated it. 

“Loki, gorgeous? C’mon, talk to me. Say something, anything.” A few taps to the god’s cheek did little to rouse him. Panicking, feeling the crushing weight in his chest, Tony delivered a soft smack to the hard as marble skin and waited, practically gasping his relief when hazed irises lost a little of their glazed sheen and focused on him wearily. “There we go. Listen to me, alright? You’re ok. We’re gonna get you patched up real quick, I promise. Then we’ll let Thor handle Two Face and his goons. You and me, we’ll relax in Stark Tower. Maybe Malibu. You like it there, remember? Warm beaches, sunlight, all the fresh air you could want.” Through his ranting he heard the heavy steps of Thor’s boots in the dirt, and he clutched Loki closer to him, hiding his wound from sight. It was panic, and rage at the thunder god for getting them into this damn mess. All his fault..

“A-Anthony.” Agony dripped from that husky voice. So unfamiliar, so unwanted. Tony fought back tears and smiled through his pain at the bleeding man in his arms, placing a hand over the wound to stem its steady ooze of blood. “Don’t. I know what you’re th-thinking, Anthony, and you mustn’t. Do you understand? You can’t-” 

Tony shushed him quickly, kissing the retort right off Loki’s lips, chapped from Svartalfheim’s dried out husk of an atmosphere and climate, cracking to show small beads of red. Like he needed to lose any more blood. “First thing when we get back home, I’m buying you some chapstick babe. Your mouth has seen better days. I don’t know how you’re standing it. All of it. You crazy alien gods and your out of this world emotional stability are honestly impressive.” The forced humor got a weak smile out of him, restoring some sense of normalcy to the situation. Things were going to be ok. Loki would be fine. They-

“Oh Loki, you fool.” Brawny hands appeared in Tony’s line of sight, wandering over the bleeding god’s form. “I told you to guard Jane, protect her. Malekith was my burden to bear.” A choked noise cut through the air, thunder crashing in the distance. Snapping to attention, fury blazing in his eyes, he had to watch Thor slump to the dirt across from him and attempt to gather Loki into his arms. Taking him from him. “You didn’t listen..” 

“Like you can talk.” Loki tensed between them, maybe sensing the oncoming storm that had been brewing long before they touched down on this fucked up world. There was no stopping it from coming to fruition. Tony had his fucking body half slumped on his lap. There was BLOOD on his armor! And Thor, fucking perfect Thor, was berating him for not listening. No. Tony snarled, glaring daggers at the Norse god, one metal clad hand curling into a fist. “You wanna talk about not listening? Fine. What the hell were you doing when he told you this was a shitty plan? Huh? Or when you appeared in OUR home, demanding our assistance with your space Viking, galactic melodrama, and ignored all the damn reasons he gave--fuck, that WE gave for staying behind?”

Scarlet tainted fingers grasped at him, trembling and seeking out his shoulder. “Anthony, don’t.” Tony endured a hard spike of jealousy when Loki’s other hand touched Thor’s wrist, placating, and was immediately grabbed up by the thunderer and held close to his chest. “Now isn’t the t-time for petty anger….Malekith is still loose. You must go after him, before he d-destroys-” a rough cough tore from Loki’s lips, flecked with crimson droplets, something grey casting his flesh with a worrying hue. Tony thought it was a trick of the light, at first. But the grey turned darker, and vine like tendrils started snaking their way across that angular jaw, sunken looking beneath those half mast eyes. It reminded him of his palladium poisoning, in a way. And it was only getting worse as the seconds ticked away, robbing Loki of his beauty, vitality. His everything. 

“Fuck, no….” Tony ignored Thor’s warnings, his entire presence. He tilted Loki’s face up and kissed across his cheek, his sickly brow. “Loki, I’m sorry. Me and Point Break won’t fight anymore. Ok? Just stay with me babe. Stay with me.” Firmly ignoring the thick rasp of air that Loki attempted to draw through his teeth, and its choked qualities, he buried his face in the side of his neck, smelling leather, copper, and something vile. It reminded him of Afghanistan. It was the smell of death. “Loki, c’mon. You’re stronger than this. What happened to your superior godly stamina, huh? Was that all bullshit? Another one of your lies?” Thor’s glare didn’t do shit to stop him, and it didn’t make Tony hesitate in the slightest. He kept going and going, until his words dissolved into something he never would have ever imagined from himself. Pleading. “Baby…please. You can’t do this to me. Remember all our plans? We’ve got the tower to rebuild, and the suits. I can’t finish your new armor without you. You have to fight, you hear me? Stay with me.” 

“Stark…” it was Thor’s tired whisper that finally got to him. No, not tired. Resolved. He was resolved, and Tony knew to what.

“Don’t. He’s gonna be ok.” Trying to prove it to himself more than anything, Tony clasped his boyfriend’s hand and squeezed, but Loki didn’t squeeze back. He was so tired looking…so pale. Tony couldn’t admit it to himself then, but he knew too. Loki wasn’t making it out of this. 

“I know not what force could save him now. His wounds are too great.” Thor’s hand found Loki’s shoulder and clasped it, gently, like he was some fragile piece of glass. It took every ounce of self control Tony possessed not to blast it away when it moved higher, cupping the trickster’s nape instead, affection and sorrow etched into Thor’s solemn face. For all their arguments, the strained relationship, he now looked ready to sob his woes. The mighty Thor. Cruelly, Tony couldn’t but think that it took his so called beloved brother dying to prove his claims of familial love were something other than just that. Claims. “Loki…is there anything that might be done? Have you any tricks to save yourself? You need only say the word, and I will do anything I can to help you. But I must know…”

The amount of time it took Loki to answer was grueling, and not only for the agonized trickster. Watching those lips crack open to release their raspy words almost killed Tony, to the point where he had to swallow a furious scream as it rustled in his throat. “…….There is n-nothing you can do,” he whispered, turning his gaze from the thunderer. Tony’s heartbeat stammered within his chest as he faced those teary eyes, and had to see the pain in them, the sheer exhaustion eating Loki alive from within. “Anthony….I..”

“Don’t you dare. Not now, you hear? You don’t get to say that to me now. Save it for when we get out of here, and we’re back in the tower, in our bed.” He couldn’t hear those three little words now. It would mean the death of him, them. Everything they’d come to be. Tony felt tears blur his vision, and he blinked them away, catching Loki’s hand when it rose, trembling, to graze his cheek. “Lokes…..you can’t. You can’t leave me. Don’t you get it? I-” the words choked, ground out in a hoarse gasp. “I need you.” 

Loki gave him a broken smile. “And I you. You can n-never know what you’ve done f-for me, Anthony. You saved me. You proved that not e-everything I’ve done is for naught. I had a chance with you. I,” whatever he was going to say, died off, chased by the soft sigh of breath leaving his lungs. Tony heard it, and knew the truth long before those dark lashes started to quiver, then fell against his cheekbones in a smudge of charcoal. Holding Loki in his arms, he felt his limbs go limp. The entire world stopped for him then. Tony didn’t breathe, speak, blink. He could only hear; the wind rushing around them, Thor’s cry of rage that carried the rumble of thunder on its currents, and his own groan of misery, muffled in the waves of Loki’s hair. This couldn’t be happening….but it had. Loki lay dead in his arms, grey skinned and cold, stolen of his silvered tongue forever. 

As loud as Thor’s rage was, Tony’s was silent. Deadly. Their suffering knew no bounds. Tony battled his cries away and held the fallen god tight in his arms, wishing it was all a damn joke, that they hadn’t followed Thor here on his crazy quest to save the world. He’d done enough of that shit to last him a lifetime, and look what it got him. The one thing he cherished above all others, gone. Stolen from him, just like everything else that had ever been good in his life. It made him seethe, anger lashing through his brown eyes. He hardly acknowledged that Thor had picked himself up, the storm growing more powerful over their heads. He didn’t pay Jane a lick of attention, though she shuffled closer, her blue skirts rustling in the wind. Tony simply stared down at the man he’d come to cherish and understand, better than even himself, and the whirlwind of emotion surged through his aching chest, threatening to toss him over an abyss of misery from which there could be no return. 

“I lost you,” Tony mumbled, hardly believing it. This wasn’t supposed to happen. But it had. Loki was dead. Dead, because of that bastard, Kurse, and his crazy master Malekith. If Thor hadn’t brought them here, gotten them involved…..Thor….fuck, he couldn’t think like that. Loki wouldn’t want him to. It was so hard though…..because Tony knew, in some twisted way, he was actually right. They were all to blame. Every single one of them. And since Loki couldn’t seek his own revenge, Tony was going to. He’d make sure Malekith was fucking slaughtered, and buried so far under this world’s parched earth that nothing would ever dig him out again. Then, it was on to-

“Malekith must be stopped. I’m sorry, but we can’t linger any longer.” The heavy weight of Thor’s hand fell on his shoulder. Tony didn’t bother fighting it, and he let the god pull him to his feet, leaving Loki’s body--his corpse in the dust. Logic told him that he couldn’t bring it along; that didn’t stop him from smothering his tears and pushing the brute’s hand off him, his faceplate snapping down with a soft clink. With the red and gold metal hiding him from sight, he felt better, more in control. And he was going to kick some ass. Wind lashing at them both, he followed Thor towards the cliffs where this all had started, and ended, the image of Loki’s abandoned figure lost in the swirling dust. He emblazoned it in his mind, picturing those green eyes falling shut, his milky skin turned grey in death. Tony scowled, fists tightening with barely suppressed rage. He wouldn’t stop until that damn elf was staring down his palms, and he got to burn the rest of that ugly face off. Screw being an Avenger. This was personal. 

He had a god to avenge.


End file.
